Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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