It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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