i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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