i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
