So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I fill condoms, not promises.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
