Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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