a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
