Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
This house was built for laser tag.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
