it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
