I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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