Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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