24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
