She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
