i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
