yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
high people should be assigned attendants
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
