i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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