Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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