how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You don't make any sense
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