id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
