He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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