I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
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