I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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