i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
tell me about the eggs
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
