I am puke
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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