It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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