Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
