I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish I only lived at night.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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