I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
