that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
