Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize