If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
