That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
