I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
People with herpes should wear stickers.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Two words: nipple clamps
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