Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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