i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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