bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
