He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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