this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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