Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
