She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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