Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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