That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
