shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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