i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize