I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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