Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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