her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
