It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
