just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
A+ Viking dick
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
