Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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