the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
