you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
