now i know why i became what i already was.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
