why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
