***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize