Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
