I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
