put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Why can't burritos get me drunk
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
